Or watch a really scary movie - the kind that makes your heart race. In a sense, you’re tricking your brain to attribute these pleasurable sensations to your partner.Ī vigorous workout side-by-side at the gym will work. If you do an activity together that creates an endorphin and adrenaline rush, this state of heightened arousal can actually get transferred to your partner and relationship. My research also finds that other activities reduce boredom and predictability, such as spontaneously going to play miniature golf at midnight or surprising them with tickets to a basketball game. Yes, all of what you’re thinking regarding role playing and lingerie counts. Add some mystery or surprise back into your relationship Here are some creative date ideas to spice things up. Or you could try water skiing for the first time, or attend a cooking class together. This can be as simple as finding a new restaurant in a part of the city where you never go. Engage in new activities with your partner
My long-term study of couples finds that you can rekindle the passion and sexual desire by adding three behaviors back into the relationship: newness, mystery, and arousal - the same behaviors that created the passion in the first place. The elements of passion, romance, and sexual desire are still essential to any long-term relationship. So, what does the future hold for you and your relationship? Should you stay and work things out? Sit down and ask yourself the questions below to see whether you’re in a relationship that’s worth saving and whether you can reignite the passion.Įven if you reset your expectations, that doesn’t mean that your relationship should only be about friendship. While time and getting to know your partner is comforting and increases companionate love (the love of support, intimacy, and friendship), this can also lead you to think that you’re headed toward a sexless, boring, or incredibly dull love life. Plus, at the early stages of your relationship, you idealized your partner and saw them through “rose-colored glasses.” But, as time went by, you took the rose-colored glasses off and began to notice their imperfections - and trust me, everyone has flaws.Īs a therapist and relationship researcher, I can tell you that you’re not alone in asking, “What happened to the days when we couldn’t wait to rip our clothes off?” Once novelty and mystery wear off and the everyday activities settle in, the excitement and sexual desire are bound to fade.
You’re learning interesting and exciting information about your partner every day, which fuels the passion. At the beginning of a relationship, passionate love is high because everything is new and stimulating. What happened to the days when we couldn’t wait to rip our clothes off?Īnd there is a very logical reason for this.